I'm a Special Needs Mommy. What does this mean to most people? Nothing. No one can truly understand what being a special needs Mommy is, unless they are a Special Needs Mommy (or Daddy) themselves.
We were told by so many specialists to do this and that to help Galen. We've done everything they've ever asked us to do, even when it went against my gut feelings.
So, what I'm going to say, may surprise most of you.
Don't follow what you're told to do, unless it feels right to you.
We followed everything we were told to do. What did this do to Galen? He still doesn't talk, but he does know how to communicate semi-efficiently now. You might think this is due to his therapists. But you'd be wrong. He's been in therapy since June 2015. He's learned to communicate through me and daddy working hard to get him where he is now. It's even harder when Daddy is also a "special needs" person. I can see things that he can't see and vice versa.
Galen has grown so much in the past couple of months. Ever since I decided to fully homeschool him over the summer. He still attended the Preschool Program we'd been recommended by countless therapists for 4 days and it went so badly, that I knew I was right all along, and utterly refused to take him back.
That was August 2016. He'd only attended for a grand total of 5 1/2 weeks. And in that time, he developed horrible habits, like pulling hair, hitting, kicking, etc, when he's upset, rather than trying to communicate with us. The teachers let him get away and didn't think it was necessary to contact his parents anytime he got sick or injured. This is insanity. It would be terrible with "normal" children. Just imagine if you have a child who can't talk and doesn't respond to his or her name getting away or vomiting and not being able to tell you. Both of these things happened with that program. My gut had always said not to take him and I ignored it.
Lesson learned.
Galen now looks me in the eyes a lot of the time, and while he's still doing the inappropriate behaviors, he's listening to me better about not doing it. He loves learning and is being involved in absolutely everything these days. We never used to take him out and about because it scared him and he hated it (and would have meltdowns and we couldn't understand what was going wrong). Now we take him everywhere with us and he's so happy. I keep telling him that I didn't take him places because he hated it so much, and was so afraid, and now that he isn't, he goes everywhere with us. He smiles so widely.
Galen is one of the happiest children I have ever met, most of the time, that is. But he was very solemn and depressed when I was making him do things that I thought were wrong (and clearly he agreed but couldn't tell me). We still make him go to therapy, even though he puts up a fight, and it is helping. It's just not helping with his speech.
I love hearing the success stories of special needs children, but I know it's not likely to occur with Galen. I will never give up hope though. Even if he never speaks "normally", as long as he's healthy and happy, that's all that matters.
But, it's incredibly difficult. Incredibly frustrating. Incredibly depressing some days. And there's not many people out there that really understand.
So, when you find a support group, grab ahold of it, and stay with them. We recently started attending actual homeschooling events, instead of just kinda being "part of the group" but in the shadows. Now, Galen's in a group called Tinkergarten and is 4 weeks into it, and actually starting to participate! And he's 2 weeks into a dance class with a teacher willing to work with him, and is not melting down the whole class! This is a huge improvement. All thanks to Mommy and Daddy doing what's right. And Flint's always along for the ride, giving Galen snuggles and kisses and trying to get him to participate more.
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| #Tinkergarten |
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| Dance Class |
The most important advice I can ever relay to you: You know your child best. Don't let other people (even specialists) bully you into something you don't feel is right for your child. Remember not to take everything for granted.
I have so much to update, but I don't really have the words for all I need to say. So, I'm going to write something shortish to give an overview.
Galen returned to the Preschool Program and less than a week later, we were full-time homeschoolers. I always wanted to do homeschooling and that's what we're doing. It's taken a lot of time and effort to get accustomed to having both kids when I go out. Mazzu's in college again, so the kids both go everywhere with me. The first couple of weeks, we didn't actually go out that much, but I've been getting better at it.
I signed the kids up for a Tinkergarten trial class and I've never been happier! I joined the class and the kids are doing so awesomely. Flint's interested in joining in on the stuff and Galen's interested, but watching from afar, as of last week.
I finally found a teacher willing to teach Galen dance! I signed Flint up as well. They start on Weds. I'm totally excited to see what happens!
Galen's ABA therapy is starting this week. Technically it was supposed to start Friday, but he threw up, so it got pushed to this Friday as the start instead. Not sure how that will go, but his therapist seems nice, and she said nothing about the current state of toys everywhere, which was a huge worry of mine.
I do have an issue that I'd love opinions on. Galen's therapists have been working with him since June 2015. He's finally pretty ok with being with them most of the time. But, I have a huge feeling that they actually think Galen's dumb.Now, I think switching therapist's would be a bad idea due to how long transitions are with Galen. But I also think that since they're against my homeschooling him, and now they've said something again that makes me think they think he isn't intelligent. I know so much better!
He told me last week he didn't want a hair cut. I told him we had to brush his hair or cut it. Did he want short hair like Mommy or long hair like Daddy? He put the brush to his hair letting me brush it again.
Today he chose "C" on one of the ABCmouse.com games that asked to pick the letter "C", so clearly he knows some stuff he hasn't been able to communicate efficiently (as I've always said and stood behind).
Anyway, I got sidetracked. A few months ago, I said something to Galen, and the therapists told me I needed to tone down my speech to him (essentially talk down to him, which I won't do). A few days ago, one of the therapists said that Galen couldn't possibly have said "How are you?" to Daddy (because he's currently only babbling 90% of the time). Clearly, Mazzu and I both heard him say it, so, duh, he said it. But they don't believe me.
The problem is if we change therapists now that he's finally making great progress (due mostly in part to my full-time homeschooling him, in my opinion), he'll regress. And I don't want that, especially with all the new transitions he's about to embark in (like dance class and constantly going places with the homeschooling groups).
Flint's birthday party was a success. Can't believe she's already 2! Galen played in the splash pad for something like 2 hours. Considering his hatred of water, that was so freaking awesome! He's been sneaking into the bathroom to play with his pool with bubbles in it that we got when he was willing to get in water with his therapists. He's mostly just touching it, but it's awesome. Hopefully he's starting to get better with water, but I'm not forcing it on him. It needs to be his choice. I have to keep telling Flint because she doesn't understand why Galen won't play in the water with her (especially when she's splashing it!).
Next month, we're venturing to a Pumpkin Patch. It's about an hour each way from us, so, I'm hoping it goes well. I have faith.
